The loves of my life


There’s never a day I don’t see a smile on your face

So innocent, so happy, so all over the place!

You’re the best things to happen in my life

I’m grateful for your giggles and your love and strife 

For knowledge, for snuggles, for pushes on the swing 

I love you Lucy Rose and Christopher  James I wouldn’t change a thing.

Mad World

We live in a mad,mad world.

its actually quite a sad world.

Its as if we’ve taken 100 steps back

and were not even trying to get on track.

Living ain’t easy, thats for certain.

But, do the kids of our time deserve this butden?

Learning less about peace, more about resentment.

Hateful propaganda intended for discontentment.

What would JFK or Lennon say? 

if our selfish society didn’t take them away,

before their time, such a crime.

But in a mad world what else do we expect?

We let Donald Trump become our President elect..

Lost inside my mind

What a concept life is.

it takes you through highs,

it takes you through lows.
and im starting to think it

expects you to just accept what

is thrown at you.
Sometimes life is giving

sometimes life is selfish

Life contradicts itself regardless

of all this.
To be alive is to feel emotions

its one of lifes mysterious potions

not all feelings are good, not all are bad

sometimes they’re happy, sometimes they’re sad.
How you react in life sets the tone for whats to come,

are you going to let things get the best of you? are you going to run

or, will you take life and stare it in the eyes. Have no fear, no disguise. 
Many people make it seem that life is just a chore

but, I believe that were made for more than this,

but then again, ignorance is bliss. 

Growing Pains

Before today the only true growing pains I had ever known were the actual, physical ones. The ones that make your legs throb which my mom would always make me feel better when saying that it meant I was growing to be big and strong. But fast forward some 16 years later I think I’ve found a new definition; figuring out you’re officially going through “adulting” and being completely, utterly pained by this fact. This morning when crying about the fact that my boyfriend and I are stuck at our parents house and can’t choose to buy a house and take out a morgtage because were both jobless and my parents, who would be our co-signers, aren’t crazy about the idea of us buying instead of renting. Once I realized I was crying over falling in love with a home and not being able to take out a morgtage on a home…reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Me? crying over taking a loan out of a bank? thats far too grown up of me and for me to actually have so much emotion to go so far as to cry over it. This realization was all too real, I know this is only the beginning as well. I’m only 23 so adulthood for me has only just begun. I miss the days where my main concerns where seeing my friends and my biggest pain was having to finish homework on time. Now, I only have like 4 friends whom I see when I can and talk to when I can and would love to do homework for the rest of my days over the latter of these growing pains. Maybe I’m being dramatic but all I know is I still have a long way to go. Nervous? Excited? scared? I have multiple emotions running through my veins but for now all I can do is sit here, type it out and hope for the best.

Growing Pains

Before today the only true growing pains I had ever known were the actual, physical ones. The ones that make your legs throb which my mom would always make me feel better when saying that it meant I was growing to be big and strong. But fast forward some 16 years later I think I’ve found a new definition; figuring out you’re officially going through “adulting” and being completely, utterly pained by this fact. This morning when crying about the fact that my boyfriend and I are stuck at our parents house and can’t choose to buy a house and take out a morgtage because were both jobless and my parents, who would be our co-signers, aren’t crazy about the idea of us buying instead of renting. Once I realized I was crying over falling in love with a home and not being able to take out a morgtage on a home…reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Me? crying over taking a loan out of a bank? thats far too grown up of me and for me to actually have so much emotion to go so far as to cry over it. This realization was all too real, I know this is only the beginning as well. I’m only 23 so adulthood for me has only just begun. I miss the days where my main concerns where seeing my friends and my biggest pain was having to finish homework on time. Now, I only have like 4 friends whom I see when I can and talk to when I can and would love to do homework for the rest of my days over the latter of these growing pains. Maybe I’m being dramatic but all I know is I still have a long way to go. Nervous? Excited? scared? I have multiple emotions running through my veins but for now all I can do is sit here, type it out and hope for the best.

Silver Linings

“Many dreams come true and some have silver linings”- Led Zeppelin

Prior to this week the concept of silver linings remained exactly that, a concept. Generally, I think the idea of every dark moment in your life having a silver lining is an optimistic way at dealing with the series of obstacles and events that is are life. Im only 23 years old as of December and haven’t truly had to worry or feel distraught because I have an amazing family who always insured I was taken care of. Now, as I’m sitting here in my home of 7 months (Shawn’s parents home, see my previous posts to learn more about him) attempting to get back to blogging, a passion I created here in the WordPress community several months ago. Since my last posts aside from my Spotify playlist (which are awesome, by the way) Shawn and I have been trying to leave our homes in Upstate NY to move to our dream city of Wilmington, North Carolina.

Although this journey began optimistic and exciting-to think we’d be starting a new chapter in our lives. This dream was intended to become a reality soon after we moved from our apartment in Albany this past June. We visited Raleigh during the summer and decided we needed to be by the ocean. Despite my obvious love for the ocean being that I spent the majority of my life on Long Island I am l was lucky enough to find my soulmate had the same itching for the coast as me! Being die hard One Tree Hill fans our first thought was Wilmington. I’ve also read nearly every Nicholas Sparks novel and he seems to be a fan of this beautiful coastal town and between my own imagination and the films made based off his books gave me an idea of what it was like. Basing our eyes on Wilmington we went down there with the hopes of falling in love with the area and finding places for rent so we could finally live out our dream.  Typing that alone is a hard pill to swallow sitting here almost 3 months since our trip with no concrete plans made living at my “In- laws”with no job and seemingly no life, It has gotten depressing to say the least. Since being back we have tried effortlessly to find the place thats perfect for us thinking it wouldn’t be that hard. Well, apparently it is! and the months keep changing and time seems to stand still. Its as if I and sometimes Shawn as well just have consistent rain clouds over our heads. I knew it to be true the other day when my mom who knows me better than I know myself asked me why I look so sad and if I was alright. I resented the fact that my emotions were smeared across my face and that we hadn’t found a place to live yet. I suffer from anxiety and hearing that from my own mother made me have a bit of a meltdown. The weather was crappy,cold and wet. I was fighting with Shawn fighting with my mom…fighting with myself.

Amidst the hysteria I was causing, Shawn’s sister called his phone, which is out of the ordinary. She was being very cryptic with Shawn on the phone and given the current situation tensions were high and we assumed something bad happened because she said “you have to get home right now” and nothing else. Bear in mind she lives in North Carolina just around the border of Virginia on the coast! She and her Husband have been trying to adopt for sometime and apparently they finally had found a match! Although she had to ruin the surprise for us so we wouldn’t tell their parents, Shawn is going to be an Uncle and I pretty much an Aunt. This news seemingly lifted all the negativity that existed and has remained this way ever since. Now it appears that we are more motivated in our declaration to move down south and make this big jump and I just get the sense that everything is about to fall into place. I found myself truly believing in people having silver linings, me being one of them. I keep listening to “Over The Hills And Far Away” by Led Zeppelin, which is quoted at the top and hear that line “Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings, I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold…” and all at once the clouds seem to disappear. 2017 is going to be a good year.

What’s your story?

So I was trying to think of something fun and creative to focus my mind on today, and found inspiration from my mini suitcase that is my purse. This thing travels with me everywhere I go, EVERYWHERE! So it’s gotta tell a person a lot about me since I’m so subconsciously attached to something. So with this in mind I took out all the contents of my Michael kors and put it on display. What I saw of the finished product is shockingly telling of who I am:


In not particular order: “the girl on the train” novel, hair ties, Purfume, mini garnier hair detangler bottle, lipstick, makeup bag( a bag inside of a bag…), daily meds, inhaler and such. A love note, a movie ticket, a mini notebook with miscellaneous content…
I’m challenging anyone who sees this to do the same! Comment yours on this post and share YOUR story. The authenticity of the outcome may surprise you 🙂